Back in a Funk

Not as much exercising as I'd like these days. And way more eating than I'd like. I've just been so hungry. I haven't been tracking my food or exercise. So I'm in a funk about that too. I'd really like to just sit in a dark room stuffing my face. Not really. That would not make me happy. Nothing sounds good to me.

I also think I'm bloated. Today is CD 25. I've been averaging 26 days, so I'm thinking my off and on headaches and general meh-ness could be signs of my impending period. Which is crappy, because now that I'm ovulating . . . UGH! I was really hoping we wouldn't have to spend a crap ton of money on the shots, monitoring, and insemination.

Friday Josh found my engagement ring. That made me happy. I love my ring, but for a while my fingers were too fat to wear it AND my wedding band. I've been wearing it since Friday. And I guess looking down at it brings some level of happiness. We picked it out together at a small jewelry store in my hometown. It's a triangle cut garnet solitaire in a white gold setting.


Black Math - The White Stripes
Disco Inferno - The Trammps
Same Old Song - The Pietasters
Slipping Away - Stabbing Westward
Something Better - The Pietasters
Flagpole Sitta - Harvey Danger
Maybe You're Coming Down with It - The High Strung
Better Off Dead - Bad Religion

Another Non-Running Day

Up some more today. Ugh. I didn't work out yesterday, because my body violently rejected the Super Burrito from Old Bag of Nails. It's not the first time I've had it, but it had been pver a month and in that time we hadn't really gone out to eat much. My digestive system was very very unhappy with my dinner choice Saturday night. And although I didn't exercise yesterday I did eat the hell out of some lemon-based dessert my aunt made. So that is not helping. Today it's back on the program. I did 45 minutes on the elliptical and I'm obsessively counting calories. Not looking good for Friday's weigh-in. And I was really hoping we would go running, because we just bought a couple of iPod Nanos and I desperately want to use mine.



Jaw, Knee, Music - NOFX
Crazy - Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
Maybe You're Coming Down With It - The High Strung
Go to the Bank - James
Got the Life - Korn
4 Out of 5 - Soul Coughing
Build God, Then We'll Talk - Panic at the Disco
Rock'n'Roll Lifestyle - Cake
I Found a Reason - VHS or Beta
Two of Us - The Beatles
When I Grow Up - Garbage
Camisado - Panic at the Disco
Blister in the Sun - Violent Femmes

Back Again

I've been getting acupuncture since January. We also started running 3 times a week as part of the couch to 5k program. I don't think we're hitting 3 miles a time yet. Well, J could easily, but I'm not there yet. We're done with the program and now just run 30 minutes each time. Last night we stopped at 21, because it was in the 80s and I was ready to drop over dead. I guess that's a danger of starting training in the dead of winter. Now anything above 60 degrees feels too hot when I'm running.Lots of pregnancies and such going on around as usual. I try not to get too hung up on any of them, but it's hard. I don't suffer any delusions that we'll be perfect parents, but . . .

Today's Elliptical Mix:
1. Cadence to Arms - Dropkick Murphys

2. What You Were - The Drums

3. Old Hat - Harvey Danger

4. Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men

5. Maybe You're Coming Down with It - The High Strung

6. Tear You Apart - She Wants Revenge

7. The Bad Touch - The Bloodhound Gang

8. Auf Achse - Franz Ferdinand

9. Girlfriend - Matthew Sweet

10. Dammit - Blink 182

Back After a Break

Tuesday morning I ellipticaled to a Charmed episode. Nothing too strenuous I was just trying to get back into the saddle so to speak after a long weekend of no exercise and overindulgence. No scales were involved, because I don't even want to know. I'll probably start weighing myself again next week. Wednesday I also ellipticaled to an episode, but that was because it was Cycle Day 1 and I wasn't up to doing much else.
Wednesday was rough. I wasn't expecting anything other than the start of a new cycle, but even when I expect the worst I expect the best. The 28th is always a hard day for me. While it certainly wasn't unexpected my grandfather's death devastated me. I have trouble letting go.
But one thing I'm letting go (for the time being anyway) . . . fertility treatments! On a medicated cycle I would be starting injections today. Not this time, mes amis. I'm not putting anymore money into it until I've lost the weight. I haven't told my doctor yet. I'm thinking about making that phone call at lunch today. But I won't be doing any of that crap again for at least 3-4 months. Maybe 6 months. Part of me feels very liberated by this. Part of me is thinking What the hell are you doing? You're giving up on maybe 6 months while you try to lose weight? What if you miss your chance? But I'm mostly ignoring that voice.
I checked out Fully Fertile
from the library. I started the yoga on Thursday. I'm going to try to do it every day. I'm reading the book through. It's a 12 week program and it looks like next week will focus on breathing and energy in and out kinds of things. Yesterday I felt really good when I finished with the yoga. Today there was something not quite right. It felt like something was stuck in my chest, so I did a 20 minute elliptical program to get some bugs out. It sort of worked, but there was still something not quite right.
Today I made an appt for an acupuncture consult for next Friday. It's not expressly for fertility. I'd like to get my periods somewhat normalized if I'm going to keep having them every month. Also, maybe it would help with my weight loss efforts. Or maybe my cholesterol and blood pressure. We shall see.

Today's Mix (I'm feeling lazy so there are no videos. I'm the only one reading this anyway.):
1. These Things - She Wants Revenge
2. Maybe You're Coming Down with It - The High Strung
3. Collapsing Cities feat Shy FX - Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly
4. Killer Machine - Martin Luther
5. Call Me - Blondie

Thursday Morning Mix

Weight Loss: Ha!

No elliptical yesterday. This morning before husband left I did my 20 minute program to my playlist. In a few minutes I'll start Charmed and get some more elliptical in. I feel I get a more intense workout with the music, so I like to get that in, but Charmed makes it easier to go longer.


1.There's a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought Of It Yet - Panic at the Disco



2. Call Me - Blondie



3. But It's Better If You Do - Panic at the Disco



4. Maybe You're Coming Down With It - The High Strung



5. Dammit - blink-182



6. The Bad Touch - The Bloodhound Gang



7. Collapsing Cities feat. Shy FX- Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly.