Cycle Day 15

SURGE! Progesterone starts on Sunday.


Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand
Loveless - Said the Whale
Countdown - Pulp
Two of Us - The Beatles
When I Grow Up - Garbage
Get You Some - Captain Planet
Super Bon Bon - Soul Coughing
Short Skirt/ Long Jacket - Cake

The Incredible Shrinking Human

Acupuncture this afternoon. I'm going to do my best not to be involved in a traffic accident on my way back to work today. Ugh. I hope no one from the clinic noticed me last week. I don't really want to explain myself.
I'm up a tad in weight, but I skipped the elliptical this morning. We're running this afternoon and then again Friday morning. So I'll elliptical tomorrow. I bought some clothes at Macy's this past weekend and when I tried the skirt on this morning, I thought maybe I should have gone down to a medium. (A medium?!) I know the mediums of today are a bit larger than the mediums of when I last wore the size, but I still never thought I'd be in a medium so soon. Honestly, just a few months ago an XL skirt was a tad tight on me and now L is borderline too big? Not going to lie. This feels good. For the first time in FOREVER I wasn't totally depressed when I was clothes shopping. Josh noticed that too.
This weekend I'm going to pack away all my still nice bigger clothes. If I ever do get pregnant, I'll probably need them when I'm losing baby weight. If I don't get pregnant then when I'll eventually give them away.

Yesterday's mix:

Papa Won't Leave You Henry - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Punk Guy ( Cause He Does Punk Things) - NOFX
What You Were - The Drums
I'm on a Boat - The Lonely Island
Open Book - Cake
Shaking the Tree - Peter Gabriel
Something Better - Pietasters
Clint Eastwood - Gorillaz

Canyonero

I got my rental today. I've gone from driving a Ford Focus (for the past 12 years) to a Kia Sorento. I know there are bigger SUVs, but I feel like I'm driving one of these:



And apprently there's a manual shift option that I kept turning on during my initial drive. But that's all sorted out now thanks in part to the manual. I almost turned around and took it back, but I stopped in a parking lot and read the section about the gear shift thingy.

I think I'll be glad to have my little car back when it's all said and done. And hopefully we will no more be parted.

In other news, I've now ovulated on my own for 3 months in a row. That's kid of special. What's not so special is the lenth of my luteal phase. I'm ovulating around day 16 or 17 and then starting my period around day 26 or 27. So there's that. But I'm pretty thrilled with the whole ovulation thing. Thanks, weight loss.

Make It Stop - Rise Against
London Beckoned Songs About Money Written By Machines - Panic at the Disco
Build Me Up Buttercup - The Foundations
Open Book - Cake
Black Math - The White Stripes
Feels Good Inc - Gorillaz
Kiss My Lips - Borgore and Dev
Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off - Panic at the Disco
Can't Wait One Minute More - CIV
Cadence to Arms - Dropkick Murphys

Nothing much to say

Back down a bit and looking forward to Friday with only a run on the horizon.

Wednesday Mix:

Papa Won't Leave You, Henry - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Auf Achse - Franz Ferdinand
Your Woman - White Town
Rock'n'Roll Lifestyle - Cake
The Inevitable Return of the Great White Dope - The Bloodhound Gang
Shiny Happy People - R.E.M
Hell Yeah - The Bloodhound Gang

**********

Tuesday Mix:

Carlotta Valdez - Harvey Danger
Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes
Can't Wait One Minute More - CIV
Queer - Garbage
Comfort Eagle - Cake
Story of My Life - Social Distortion
Bright Future in Sales - Fountains of Wayne
Punk Guy (Cause He Does Punk Things) - NOFX
Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off - Panic at the Disco
In the End - Linkin Park

STICKERS!

Today I got 2 stickers in Weight Watchers (because we're in elementary school, you know). 1 for sharing my weight loss and 1 for losing my fist 5 lbs. hopefully next week i'll hit my 5% goal. but we'll see.

Johnny Quest Thinks We're Sellouts - Less Than Jake
But It's Better if You Do - Panic at the Disco
Open Book - Cake
Shiny Happy People - R.E.M
The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press Coverage - Panic at the Disco
Everlong - Foo Fighters
Sweet Caroline - Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
In the End - Linkin Park
Shaking the Tree - Peter Gabriel

Tuesday Mix and Modern Family Season Finale Spoiler

4.8 more pounds to go. Pretty sure I can make my deadline.

Last night we watched the season finale to Modern Family. Cameron and Mitch had a disappointment with their adoption quest and Mitch had a mini breakdown and they decided to take a break. And the portrayal of Mitch's frustration and emotional state was EXACTLY what I was experiencing before we decided to take a break. The whole trying not to get my hopes up, but getting them up anyway, the crushing disappointment when either the pregnancy didn't stick or there wasn't a pregnancy at all, the unending emotional pain . . . Everything he articulated was exactly how I felt and exactly why I felt such relief when I left the message with my doctor's office saying we were taking a break and I would call them when we were ready. It looks like we're almost ready (physically). I think I'm in a better place emotionally, but I don't know. I guess I won't know until I'm injecting the meds and my feet are back in the stirrups.

I am terrified. Absolutely terrified. Possible outcomes:
1. Nothing
2. Another loss
3. A successful pregnancy (which is really terrifying in another way)

What if we've spent all this time and money and we're not up to the task? What if we can't handle the disruption and noise and everything that comes with a baby? Maybe we'll never get a chance to address those issues. Maybe I'm so defective nothing will ever come of all this. Or maybe I'm with the wrong doctor. Maybe we would have seen success with someone else. Are we doing enough?

Yesterday's elliptical mix:

Let the Day Begin - The Call
Better off Dead - Bad Religion
Open Book - Cake
Go to the Bank - James
Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes
Bright Future in Sales - Fountains of Wayne
Camisado - Panic at the Disco
Cadence to Arms - Dropkick Murphys
There's a Good Reason These Tables are Numbered . . . - Panic at the Disco
How's My Driving, Doug Hastings? - Less Than Jake
Just Like Frank - Less Than Jake
Just a Girl - No Doubt
Jaw, Knee, Music - NOFX
Build God, Then We'll Talk - Panic at the Disco
Army - Ben Folds Five

Another Non-Running Day

Up some more today. Ugh. I didn't work out yesterday, because my body violently rejected the Super Burrito from Old Bag of Nails. It's not the first time I've had it, but it had been pver a month and in that time we hadn't really gone out to eat much. My digestive system was very very unhappy with my dinner choice Saturday night. And although I didn't exercise yesterday I did eat the hell out of some lemon-based dessert my aunt made. So that is not helping. Today it's back on the program. I did 45 minutes on the elliptical and I'm obsessively counting calories. Not looking good for Friday's weigh-in. And I was really hoping we would go running, because we just bought a couple of iPod Nanos and I desperately want to use mine.



Jaw, Knee, Music - NOFX
Crazy - Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
Maybe You're Coming Down With It - The High Strung
Go to the Bank - James
Got the Life - Korn
4 Out of 5 - Soul Coughing
Build God, Then We'll Talk - Panic at the Disco
Rock'n'Roll Lifestyle - Cake
I Found a Reason - VHS or Beta
Two of Us - The Beatles
When I Grow Up - Garbage
Camisado - Panic at the Disco
Blister in the Sun - Violent Femmes

Tuesday

6.8 more pounds to go.

The Wii continues to tell me I'm overweight. It still sounds disapproving, but that's okay. Much better than, "That's obese!" Yesterday I received a lot of compliments on a shirt I received secondhand from my mom. I think it did look good. I took some pants she didn't want anymore, but I think it'll take me another 5 pounds before I can fit them. Today I'm wearing a skirt I don't think I've worn since my nephew's baby shower (over 10 years ago). There's something to be said for not getting rid of my old clothes. I'm starting to fit them again and it's nice to have some variety in the ole wardrobe. Less depressing, I think.

This morning's mix:
What You Were  - The Drums



Your Woman - White Town



Time to Dance - Panic at the Disco



Two of Us - The Beatles



Girlfriend - Matthew Sweet



Movin' on Up - The Pietasters



Rock'n'Roll Lifestyle - Cake



Kennedy - Kill Hannah



Sugarcane - Shaggy

Weight Watching

Yesterday I joined Weight Watchers. The hope is that it'll help knock off these last 8 pounds (and then some?). This week's weight has been more stable than I would like.

Yesterday's Elliptical Mix:
I'm on a Boat - The Lonely Island
These Things - She Wants Revenge
Diamonds and Guns - Transplants
My Goddess - The Exies
Slipping Away - Stabbing Westward
Moves Like Jagger - Maroon 5
Get You Some - Captain Planet
Rock'n'Roll Lifestyle

Thursday

Today's mix wasn't as good as Tuesday's. Tonight we're going to the Clippers game. It's hot and Josh hates baseball. And it's a minor league team, so sometimes the innings go on forever. But on the plus side parking is fairly cheap and they let you bring in food to the ballpark, so you're not stuck paying a gazillion dollars for bottled water.

Comfort Eagle - Cake
Big Time - David Dallas
Roman's Revenge - Nicki Minaj
I Hope You Die - The Bloodhound Gang
Killer Machine - Martin Luther
My Goddess - The Exies
You're the Only One that I Wants - Less Than Jake
Tear You Apart - She Wants Revenge