This is the Week

This is the week that we get back to tracking our calories. I've already put in my breakfast, lunch, and part of dinner and have a tad over 700 calories left for the day. I think we're off to a good start. The elliptical was killer today. Looking forward to that getting easier. Also, with the warmer weather maybe we'll go running this weekend. Probably the whole city of Columbus will be running this weekend though.

Today's weight: 160.7

Elliptical (30 min program + time to end of song, 514 cal):

Shiny Happy People - R.E.M.
Big Time - David Dallas
Bright Future in Sales - Fountains of Wayne
Miss You - The Concretes
Just a Girl - No Doubt
Carlotta Valdez - Harvey Danger
Days are Forgotten - Kasabian
Same Old Song - The Pietasters
Kiss My Lips - Borgore & Dev

Cycle Day 1

Well, here we are. My last med-free cycle before I go back to Bravelle.


Girls and Boys - Blur
Bright Future in Sales - Fountains of Wayne
I Found a Reason - VHS or Beta
Killer Machine - Martin Luther
Everlong - Foo Fighters
Slipping Away - Stabbing Westward
Got the Life - Korn
I Write Sins Not Tragedies - Panic at the Disco
How to Operate with a Blown Mind - Lo Fidelity Allstars
Countdown - Pulp

Nothing much to say

Back down a bit and looking forward to Friday with only a run on the horizon.

Wednesday Mix:

Papa Won't Leave You, Henry - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Auf Achse - Franz Ferdinand
Your Woman - White Town
Rock'n'Roll Lifestyle - Cake
The Inevitable Return of the Great White Dope - The Bloodhound Gang
Shiny Happy People - R.E.M
Hell Yeah - The Bloodhound Gang

**********

Tuesday Mix:

Carlotta Valdez - Harvey Danger
Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes
Can't Wait One Minute More - CIV
Queer - Garbage
Comfort Eagle - Cake
Story of My Life - Social Distortion
Bright Future in Sales - Fountains of Wayne
Punk Guy (Cause He Does Punk Things) - NOFX
Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off - Panic at the Disco
In the End - Linkin Park

Monday

Elliptical today, because I'm up a pound-ish from early weekend debauchery or Indian buffet, how I love you! Anticipating a 20 min run tonight, elliptical tomorrow, elliptical and run on Wednesday, elliptical Thursday, and better choices over the weekend. We'll see. The past few weekends have ruined me.



I Don't Wanna Fall in Love - She Wants Revenge
Punk Guy (Cause He Does Punk Things) - NOFX
How to Operate witha Blown Mind - Lo Fidelity Allstars
Shaking the Tree - Peter Gabriel
Someone's Gonna Break Your Heart - Fountains of Wayne
You're the Only One That I Want - Less Than Jake
Killer Machine - Martin Luther
Disco Inferno - The Trammps

Tuesday Mix and Modern Family Season Finale Spoiler

4.8 more pounds to go. Pretty sure I can make my deadline.

Last night we watched the season finale to Modern Family. Cameron and Mitch had a disappointment with their adoption quest and Mitch had a mini breakdown and they decided to take a break. And the portrayal of Mitch's frustration and emotional state was EXACTLY what I was experiencing before we decided to take a break. The whole trying not to get my hopes up, but getting them up anyway, the crushing disappointment when either the pregnancy didn't stick or there wasn't a pregnancy at all, the unending emotional pain . . . Everything he articulated was exactly how I felt and exactly why I felt such relief when I left the message with my doctor's office saying we were taking a break and I would call them when we were ready. It looks like we're almost ready (physically). I think I'm in a better place emotionally, but I don't know. I guess I won't know until I'm injecting the meds and my feet are back in the stirrups.

I am terrified. Absolutely terrified. Possible outcomes:
1. Nothing
2. Another loss
3. A successful pregnancy (which is really terrifying in another way)

What if we've spent all this time and money and we're not up to the task? What if we can't handle the disruption and noise and everything that comes with a baby? Maybe we'll never get a chance to address those issues. Maybe I'm so defective nothing will ever come of all this. Or maybe I'm with the wrong doctor. Maybe we would have seen success with someone else. Are we doing enough?

Yesterday's elliptical mix:

Let the Day Begin - The Call
Better off Dead - Bad Religion
Open Book - Cake
Go to the Bank - James
Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes
Bright Future in Sales - Fountains of Wayne
Camisado - Panic at the Disco
Cadence to Arms - Dropkick Murphys
There's a Good Reason These Tables are Numbered . . . - Panic at the Disco
How's My Driving, Doug Hastings? - Less Than Jake
Just Like Frank - Less Than Jake
Just a Girl - No Doubt
Jaw, Knee, Music - NOFX
Build God, Then We'll Talk - Panic at the Disco
Army - Ben Folds Five

Thursday

According to my home scale I'm .8 lbs under this time last week. I'm going to drink my protein shake and not eat or drink anything else until after weigh-in. I also have to find the best outfit to wear. One that adds the least amount of weight.
Today is also my annual review. Little nervous (as usual), but I think I can redirect enough. We'll see. I may update after the weigh-in.




Common People - Pulp
Flagpole Sitta - Harvey Danger
Someone's Gonna Break Your Heart - Fountains of Wayne
My Own Worst Enenmy - Lit
Mi Chico Latino - Geri Halliwell
Basket Case - Green Day
Heart in Your Heartbreak - Pains of Being Pure at Heart
Stampeding Elephants - Paul White
Blowing It - Dinosaur Jr

Tuesday

Down a bit today. Can I lose 2 lbs by Thursday's weigh-in? Don't know. Maybe 1.5? At least 1, because I'd rather be the same than show some gain. The past couple days have been so dreadfully hot. It's supposed to get cooler this week, but I don't even want to think about what this summer will be like if we're having temps in the mid 90s (before the heat index) at the end of May. Too depressing to think about.





Heart in Your Heartbreak - Pains of Being Pure at Heart
Slipping Away - Stabbing Westward
Call Me - Blondie
Someone's Gonna Break Your Heart - Fountains of Wayne
John Finn's Wife - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Ring My Bell - Anita Ward
Carlotta Valdez - Harvey Danger
Better Off Dead - Bad Religion