Cycle Day 13

I'm currently a little over 7 lbs away from driver license weight. That's pretty exciting. Last week we were on vacation, so no elliptical. But . . . 5 days of running first thing in the morning. I need every day to be a vacation day. I've been using the ovulation test kit since cd11 and I have my progesterone ready to go. Fingers and toes crossed, but definitely not getting my hopes up.

Maggie on Vacation

Crapton of Carp

Go to the Bank - James
Countdown- Pulp
I Don't Wanna Fall in Love - She Wants Revenge
Jaw, Knee, Music - NOFX
Disco Inferno - The Trammps
Build Me Up Buttercup - The Foundations
Same Old Song - The Pietasters
Shaking the Tree - Peter Gabriel

The Incredible Shrinking Human

Acupuncture this afternoon. I'm going to do my best not to be involved in a traffic accident on my way back to work today. Ugh. I hope no one from the clinic noticed me last week. I don't really want to explain myself.
I'm up a tad in weight, but I skipped the elliptical this morning. We're running this afternoon and then again Friday morning. So I'll elliptical tomorrow. I bought some clothes at Macy's this past weekend and when I tried the skirt on this morning, I thought maybe I should have gone down to a medium. (A medium?!) I know the mediums of today are a bit larger than the mediums of when I last wore the size, but I still never thought I'd be in a medium so soon. Honestly, just a few months ago an XL skirt was a tad tight on me and now L is borderline too big? Not going to lie. This feels good. For the first time in FOREVER I wasn't totally depressed when I was clothes shopping. Josh noticed that too.
This weekend I'm going to pack away all my still nice bigger clothes. If I ever do get pregnant, I'll probably need them when I'm losing baby weight. If I don't get pregnant then when I'll eventually give them away.

Yesterday's mix:

Papa Won't Leave You Henry - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Punk Guy ( Cause He Does Punk Things) - NOFX
What You Were - The Drums
I'm on a Boat - The Lonely Island
Open Book - Cake
Shaking the Tree - Peter Gabriel
Something Better - Pietasters
Clint Eastwood - Gorillaz

Oops

So yesterday when I was leaving acupuncture I was involved in an injury accident. Ultimately it was my fault, so I got a ticket. Boo. According to the police report the guy was complaining of pain in his mid-section, so he was transported to the hospital. Unfortunately, I think he and his passenger are going to be the kind of people who totally exaggerate the impact of this. Super boo.
So my car is out of commission. I'm not excited about the body shop I've taken it to, but it'll do I guess. They said it might be the 2nd week of July before I get it back. Ugh. I'll be getting a rental car Monday morning. That's something.
Weight Watchers was good news today. I hit my initial 5% goal and it looks like I'm on track to lose 10 lbs total by next week.

Seven Nation Army
I'm on a Boat - The Lonely Island
Papa Won't Leave You, Henry - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Basket Case - Green Day
The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press Coverage - Panic at the Disco
These Things - She Wants Revenge
Clint Eastwood - Gorillaz
Punk Guy (Cause He Does Punk Things) - NOFX
Monday Morning - Melanie Fiona

Nothing much to say

Back down a bit and looking forward to Friday with only a run on the horizon.

Wednesday Mix:

Papa Won't Leave You, Henry - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Auf Achse - Franz Ferdinand
Your Woman - White Town
Rock'n'Roll Lifestyle - Cake
The Inevitable Return of the Great White Dope - The Bloodhound Gang
Shiny Happy People - R.E.M
Hell Yeah - The Bloodhound Gang

**********

Tuesday Mix:

Carlotta Valdez - Harvey Danger
Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes
Can't Wait One Minute More - CIV
Queer - Garbage
Comfort Eagle - Cake
Story of My Life - Social Distortion
Bright Future in Sales - Fountains of Wayne
Punk Guy (Cause He Does Punk Things) - NOFX
Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off - Panic at the Disco
In the End - Linkin Park

Monday

Elliptical today, because I'm up a pound-ish from early weekend debauchery or Indian buffet, how I love you! Anticipating a 20 min run tonight, elliptical tomorrow, elliptical and run on Wednesday, elliptical Thursday, and better choices over the weekend. We'll see. The past few weekends have ruined me.



I Don't Wanna Fall in Love - She Wants Revenge
Punk Guy (Cause He Does Punk Things) - NOFX
How to Operate witha Blown Mind - Lo Fidelity Allstars
Shaking the Tree - Peter Gabriel
Someone's Gonna Break Your Heart - Fountains of Wayne
You're the Only One That I Want - Less Than Jake
Killer Machine - Martin Luther
Disco Inferno - The Trammps

Tuesday Mix and Modern Family Season Finale Spoiler

4.8 more pounds to go. Pretty sure I can make my deadline.

Last night we watched the season finale to Modern Family. Cameron and Mitch had a disappointment with their adoption quest and Mitch had a mini breakdown and they decided to take a break. And the portrayal of Mitch's frustration and emotional state was EXACTLY what I was experiencing before we decided to take a break. The whole trying not to get my hopes up, but getting them up anyway, the crushing disappointment when either the pregnancy didn't stick or there wasn't a pregnancy at all, the unending emotional pain . . . Everything he articulated was exactly how I felt and exactly why I felt such relief when I left the message with my doctor's office saying we were taking a break and I would call them when we were ready. It looks like we're almost ready (physically). I think I'm in a better place emotionally, but I don't know. I guess I won't know until I'm injecting the meds and my feet are back in the stirrups.

I am terrified. Absolutely terrified. Possible outcomes:
1. Nothing
2. Another loss
3. A successful pregnancy (which is really terrifying in another way)

What if we've spent all this time and money and we're not up to the task? What if we can't handle the disruption and noise and everything that comes with a baby? Maybe we'll never get a chance to address those issues. Maybe I'm so defective nothing will ever come of all this. Or maybe I'm with the wrong doctor. Maybe we would have seen success with someone else. Are we doing enough?

Yesterday's elliptical mix:

Let the Day Begin - The Call
Better off Dead - Bad Religion
Open Book - Cake
Go to the Bank - James
Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes
Bright Future in Sales - Fountains of Wayne
Camisado - Panic at the Disco
Cadence to Arms - Dropkick Murphys
There's a Good Reason These Tables are Numbered . . . - Panic at the Disco
How's My Driving, Doug Hastings? - Less Than Jake
Just Like Frank - Less Than Jake
Just a Girl - No Doubt
Jaw, Knee, Music - NOFX
Build God, Then We'll Talk - Panic at the Disco
Army - Ben Folds Five

Another Non-Running Day

Up some more today. Ugh. I didn't work out yesterday, because my body violently rejected the Super Burrito from Old Bag of Nails. It's not the first time I've had it, but it had been pver a month and in that time we hadn't really gone out to eat much. My digestive system was very very unhappy with my dinner choice Saturday night. And although I didn't exercise yesterday I did eat the hell out of some lemon-based dessert my aunt made. So that is not helping. Today it's back on the program. I did 45 minutes on the elliptical and I'm obsessively counting calories. Not looking good for Friday's weigh-in. And I was really hoping we would go running, because we just bought a couple of iPod Nanos and I desperately want to use mine.



Jaw, Knee, Music - NOFX
Crazy - Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
Maybe You're Coming Down With It - The High Strung
Go to the Bank - James
Got the Life - Korn
4 Out of 5 - Soul Coughing
Build God, Then We'll Talk - Panic at the Disco
Rock'n'Roll Lifestyle - Cake
I Found a Reason - VHS or Beta
Two of Us - The Beatles
When I Grow Up - Garbage
Camisado - Panic at the Disco
Blister in the Sun - Violent Femmes

Thursday

Only 20 minutes today. I got so distracted by my marvelous weight. Today I am overweight. Huzzah. And less than 10 lbs to go until I start back with the fertility treatments. So that's also kind of exciting.



How's My Driving, Doug Hastings? - Less Than Jake
Cadence to Arms - Dropkick Murphys
I Found a Reason - VHS or Beta
Army - Ben Folds Five
Jaw, Knee, Music - NOFX
My Goddess - The Exies
Money - The Drums

Tuesday

This week I'm starting a healthy living challenge. It's being hosted by the county extension offices. Yesterday we got our first email and this week we're supposed to focus on getting 6-8 cups of water/day. The water bottle I drink out of holds 3 cups, so it wasn't too difficult to get to the goal. We're also supposed to track our exercise. The goal is 30 minutes at least 3 times a week. To meet that I'm adding back the elliptical on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. I'm almost halfway to my goal weight (after 4 months). Hopefully it doesn't take another 4 months to lose the rest. I'd like to be back to treatment by the end of July.
Elliptical Mix
1. Old Hat
2. Tear You Apart
3. London Beckoned Songs About Money Written by Machines
4. Mi Chico Latino
5. Collapsing Cities
6. Jaw, Knee, Music - NOFX
7. Dammit
8. Cadence to Arms
9. Battle Flag