31 July 2013

18 weeks

Pregnancy milestone: Last night someone in the neighborhood asked when I'm due while I was walking the dog.

30 July 2013

17 weeks, 6 Days

I had the quad screening at my last appointment on July 19th, but (unsurprisingly) I hadn't heard anything back. Just as I would have waited forever for the results of my HIV and syphilis tests--both negative thankyouverymuch--I think I would have waited forever for the results of my screening if I hadn't called. Good news is everything's normal. One less thing to obsess over. Of course I worked myself into a bit of a panic when I looked at my online medical chart and noticed for my last visit the following health concern was added: "threatened abortion: antepartum." Um was there something they didn't tell me? But I asked the nurse who called with my results about this and she said it was already in there and for some reason was just updated on the 19th. I'll take her word for it . . . for now. And of course next Thursday I'll ask my MFM doctor about the quad screen and if we can really rest easy with the results.

25 July 2013

17 weeks, 1 day: I had a dream last night

I had a dream I gave birth to the babies at home or rather someone's home. (Shades of Wang Lung although instead of a field, it was a bed). Both babies came rather easily and I delivered by myself using the basic instructions I read a day or two ago in What to Expect . . . I checked each neck for umbilical cords and there weren't any. I had one boy and one girl and everything seemed perfect. And then instead of going to the hospital I pretty much just went around telling everyone about how I just delivered my own babies. So I get to the next day and I'm talking to someone about the babies and I realize I haven't done anything with them since giving birth. No feeding, no diapers, etc. I found them still in the room I gave birth in, but they were in a trash can. Despite being in a trash can for who knows how long, they were still in great shape. So I decided to try my hand at breast feeding. Girl baby was asking for juice and suckling on a sheet or paper.

24 July 2013

17 weeks

We have plans to listen to the little pups with the doppler tonight. Now that we're 5 days out from our last appointment I'm catastrophizing. So hopefully some doppler time will calm things down a bit.
Yesterday I found out a friend from college and his wife are expecting their first baby via a cute Facebook announcement. Then through private messaging I discovered they did IVF. We both shared a bit about our struggles and obviously I don't know how he feels about it, but I was sort of thrilled to find someone else from the IF community. It makes me more excited for their pregnancy. 

23 July 2013

People Who Can Have Children - Updated 7/23/2013

These people can all have children. I cannot.

Toddler Dies After Being Left With Space Heater; Parents Sought - 16 month old left in room with space heater on for 10 hours (IN JUNE!)

Officers: Coshocton parents confess to harming 3-month-old - 3 month old baby has multiple fractures and burns (including on his scrotum!)

Boy, 10, died of THIRST after his parents refused him water for five days 'as punishment for wetting the bed' - Dallas, TX; An emergency room doctor testified that the boy went into cardiac arrest, had multiple organs failure, blood poisoning and muscle breakdown as a result of being deprived of water.

Steubenville: Couple admits putting kids in plastic boxes - Couple used plastic storage containers sealed with duct tape to punish their 3 children (ages 5-8). Don't worry they did cut an air hole for them.

Guernsey County Man Kills 5-Year-Old Son, Self - murder-suicide involving 5 yr old

Cleveland: Police investigate possible abuse of 18-month-old - Unexplained bruises on toddler's face, ear, and leg. Child taken from 21 year old mother and placed in custody of paternal grandparents.

Vermilion: Parents, grandmother of dead infant behind bars - toddler starved to death, other children in home malnourished

Investigators: Lancaster Man Had Meth-Making Materials, Kids At Home - 30 year old man with 2 young kids at home (ages 2 & 4). Police were called by neighbors because of suspected drug activity in the house.

Ohio Woman Facing 5th Drunken Driving Charge - 32 year old mother caught drunken driving with her 8 year old son and a bottle of rum in the car.

Mom Charged after Thrown Baby Dies - 25 year old mother threw her 6 month old baby against a hard surface. He suffered skull fractures and brain damage and died at the hospital.

Parents Indicted In Connection With 2-Year-Old’s Scalding Death - I don't blame them at all for the scalding death. That was a tragic tragic accident. However, no one involved realized he needed major help. I'm not as upset about this family. They're more on the fringes of my anger at the universe.

22 July 2013

16 weeks, 5 days

I had an appointment with my OB Friday, but it was rather non-exciting. From here on out all my appointments with her office will just check bp, urine, and baby hbs. Both babies checked in low to mid 150s. So that's good. What wasn't good was waiting in the stuffy exam room for an hour. Beyond unhappy with that.

I'm starting to tell more people about my "delicate condition," so I guess I'm feeling more comfortable. I sent a message to a cousin Friday (I'll be attending her baby shower on the 3rd) and then 2 other friends today, and I told my retired boss when I ran into him in the parking lot today.

Also today, I cashed the check I received from the small life insurance policy my grandma left to my sister and me. I've been putting off doing anything with it, because I wanted to make sure it was something special (no paying bills with this money) and I couldn't decide what to do with it. Last week I got a letter from the group that sponsored the policy saying I had until this Wednesday to cash the check. So that's what I did. I cashed it and plan to squirrel away the money until I come up with something worthy. I think I'll probably end up just getting a cd or something at the bank until I figure it out. After I left the bank I sat in my car and cried. And then I drove to the grocery store where I engaged in more car crying. And that's the other reason I've put it off. Cashing the check just adds another layer of finality. I don't want the money. I want my grandparents.

09 July 2013

14 weeks 6 days

Yesterday's recheck appointment went well despite a madhouse environment in the waiting room. The clot is smaller. The doctor thinks there's a chance it could have been a nonviable 3rd embryo. With all the bleeding early on I could definitely believe that. The hbs were 162 and 167.
Now the waiting room . . . one couple had both sets of parents, a set of grandparents, and siblings. There was a couple fighting. One woman had 3 kids with her. It was overwhelming to say the least. When they called me back to check my weight and bp my initial reading was 144/90. The nurse asked if I was nervous and I said the conditions in the waiting room had put me on edge. She had me pee in a cup, but that seemed to be okay. When they checked my bp after the ultrasound I was down to 124/83.
So between the bp check and the ultrasound we sat near the couple with the entourage. The woman was pregnant with twins. They were talking to another couple expecting twins. The twin mom without the entourage said, "You know as you get older, your chances of twins increases. That's why you see so many people walking around with twins now." My dear husband and I exchange a look and under my breath I said, "yeah because fertility treatments." Now I know not every woman in her 30s or 40s with twins received infertility treatment, but a lot of them are the result of treatment. Heck I know someone who had twins in her late 20s thanks to infertility treatments. But I'm getting away from the main point of the story, which is: THERE OUTTA BE A LIMIT ON HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU CAN BRING WITH YOU TO A DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT. Also, leave the children at home if at all possible. I mean, only bring your kids as an absolute last result, but remember your kids will never be as irritating as the 7 or 8 adult family members you might want to bring with you.

02 July 2013

13 weeks 6 Days

I've continued spotting since last Monday. Friday morning was a little bit more, so i stayed home for a few hours and went back to bed for morning napping and water drinking. When I woke up I was incredibly thirsty, so I wasn't sure if that was part of the problem? In any case as I was drifting back to sleep around 8:15 I got a text from my husband asking me to let him know when I got to work and how I was feeling. Then I drifted off to sleep for real UNTIL I had a crazy dream and woke up confused and completely disoriented. In my dream I woke up from my nap and it was almost 1:00 pm. I had never intended to sleep that long, so I was upset with myself and kind of stumbling around. Then I was looking for our dog and finally found her tied up outside with a plastic bag stuck in her mouth. She was fine, but she would have been out there since 7:00 am. And I noticed a potted plant from our front step was now on our back step, which made me even more irritated with my husband. Things like that kept happening until I managed to wake myself up. It was so real and so completely the order I would be doing things that I was super confused when I found I was actually in bed. I fumbled for my cell phone and saw it was only 9:00 am. Not wanting to go back into bizarro dream world I decided to just get up and go to work.
Okay, so I never did a follow-up from last Monday's worried post. Both babies looked good on the ultrasound and doc noticed a clot located away from the placentas and not too big. I'm going back next Monday for them to check the clot and heart rates of the babies. Although I still fall prey to negative thoughts at some point I just have to accept what the doctors say sometimes. What I'm clinging to now is that the doctor said it would be extremely rare to lose babies that looked as good as ours did last Monday. So unfortunately they couldn't do the first trimester screening, because I was bleeding. Apparently active bleeding messes up the hormone levels in the blood samples the take. But they didn't see anything that concerned them on the ultrasounds, so they weren't that worried about the screening and they said that if something seemed suspicious later they could always order the MaterniT21 test. I was so glad he didn't suggest amnio.
Also last week our dog Maggie had her teeth cleaned and ended up getting one of her top incisors removed. She seems much perkier (could be the pain meds) and has been really excited about the mandatory canned food for the week. The vet originally thought the tooth would come out pretty easily, but because she's Maggie it took some cutting and stitching so her mouth's a little more sensitive. The vet said her incisor was the size of most dogs' canines. That's my girl.