God's Plan

The husband got into with some coworkers earlier this week. One of them said her daughter had just lost her job, but that it was okay because obviously this was all part of God's plan. So of course the husband had to speak up against that. He questioned why God would be interested in her fairly wealthy daughter's career path and not as interested in people who are starving and so forth. The answer was that some things are mysteries and can't be explained.
Let me back up for a moment and say the husband and I are Jewish, but we lean atheist. He more so than me. Not that I really believe in God or anything, but for the most part I don't give a crap.It doesn't bother me when people are hardcore believers as long as they leave me out of it. If one of my coworkers had said something similiar I probably would have ignored it and maybe said something to friends later. But the husband doesn't think religion has any place in our modern world and for some reason he wants to get into arguments.
Where I encounter the God's plan thing most and where it bugs the hell out of me involves procreation. I see stuff all the time where people say/ comment that people like me just need to calm down, because a pregnancy won't happen on our time, it happens on God's time. OH, THANKS.
Part of what really gets me about this God-pregnancy thing or God meddling in our lives thing is this: countless children (including infants) die every day at the hands of abusive parents. That's apparently one of those myseterious things God's okay with. Or maybe he's just way too busy taking care of all these rich peoples' careers and doesn't have time to notice that all these children are being born into shitty homes? The point is I'm not claiming we would be perfect parents, I'm saying I can pretty much guarantee our children will not be victims of abuse. I'll probably have high expectations for my child(ren) academically and behavior-wise, but there will be no beatings or beratings. So if I'm to listen to all these divine-plan people, these are my choices:
1. God has a plan for everyone and some people (including infants) are just meant to have horrible (and possibly very very short) lives.
2. God can't be bothered with the details of making sure people who want children and people who shouldn't have children get what's appropriate.
3. God only cares about rich people problems.
4. God doesn't want me to have a child for some reason.

Have I prayed for for a child? Did I ask God to continue my doomed pregnancies? No, to both. I did wish really hard, but I wouldn't call it praying.